School updates and a rant

Keeping up with the tradition the girl received the “Most caring/loving award” this year too :)

Read the 2011 story here. Its no way different this year.  She is still the girl who throws all sorts of tantrum at home, refuses to cleanup but gets the most caring, loving, best helper, cleaner, scrubber and what not award from school. I go back to square one with the same question again “Is it normal for kids to behave this way?” though this time after lot of thinking especially after my recent posts I confess that at my childhood days I was almost like her throwing all the tantrums to amma where as trying to be in good books of every other possible outsider.  So, I don’t blame her. The genes are playing at full swing.  But, I blame myself for a different reason.

She was awarded this certificate at school assembly on Friday along with the First Honors award she received for academics.  Did I tell you guys? She scored A+ grade in English and A grade in all other subjects for this quarter so she was eligible for First Honors. We received the report card few weeks back and were informed that the award will be distributed on last Friday at third grade assembly.  As any other proud parents we attended the assembly to see the girl receiving award and took some pictures and I left to work right after her class has been awarded. Blame it on my meeting that was later postponed to today :(  Adi had received the Student of the Month award after we left. The first thing she asked when I picked her up in the evening was “Mommy why didn’t you stay back? why did you leave in the middle? You know I got another award today. I was looking around for you guys when I got the award”.  I felt terribly bad and cursed myself enough. The very thought of her searching around for us in the crowd while receiving the award added more fuel to the fire.  I slapped myself in front of her and ranted enough that at one stage she started consoling me.  I told her that I am not going to have my dinner as a punishment and she was very sweet to say “No amma. don’t do that other wise you will feel very hungry. You just skip the evening snack okay?” :D

She declared Friday as her lucky day as she got two awards, her name was selected in the lucky draw that happens at her class every Friday (the one in which she was expecting her name to be drawn for past few months) and had an impromptu play date with her swimming mate. Separate post to follow on the play date.

Over weekend we made her first formal project requested by school. A poster about Augusta Savage.  In order to honor the African American history month each kid at Adi’s class was assigned and asked to make a poster of an African-American woman who had struggled and excelled in their career.  We googled researched about Augusta Savage and made this poster over the weekend. For the records I drew lines in poster for Adi to write neatly.  She wrote the letters with pencil and then traced it with black pen. Still we scraped the first poster as she didn’t leave enough space between words and made few spelling mistakes (though she copied the sentences from my rough work). We bought the poster sheets on Saturday. Started the project on Saturday evening and finished on Sunday evening with all shouting and whining. I mean she whines that her hands are paining and asks for a minimum half hour break for every two lines.  How am I expected to react? I succumbed/screamed/lectured depending on my state of mind.  Thinking about it now I HATE myself for all that shouting and the recent post by SnS filled me with more guilt.  This is not to offend you SnS. I definitely need some clarity in this topic and totally appreciate the effort you have taken to address it so well in your post.

SnS – I can’t agree more with your point and would love to implement it but how is the million dollar question as one size doesn’t fit for all. Doesn’t our reaction depends on the opposite party’s action or the history we hold with that person. No one would like to shout at first sight or rather at first incident. I believe that shouting happens only when you get frustrated and give up on the other person though I totally agree that this is not the right solution. Shouting happens when you feel helpless. Shouting happens when you feel trapped. This is just my two cents based on my personal experience. I am basically not that shouting type but sometimes I feel that I am forced to raise my voice otherwise I have he fear of not being heard. I am clueless on how to handle these situations. I don’t mean to hurt you or anyone else here. Hope you understand.

Alright where was I oh yeah the poster, it is done and ready to go to School this Wednesday.

 

Another interesting thing I did this weekend is to revisit the photo collections. Adi’s class teacher had asked for 6 to 7 pictures of her milestones to create timeline.  After a long time I browsed all the pictures from the day she landed on this earth to till day to gather those 6 to 7 pictures. It took almost two hours but was totally worth it.  Her first day, first walk, first tonsure, first bike, first day of school, first snow, Adi in pattu pavadai (silk skirt), in halloween costume, birthday snaps of every year.. A trip down the memory lane filled with mixed feeling and emotions especially when I saw my mama (amma’s brother who passed away few years back when I was at US)  on one of the picture…

 

 

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19 thoughts on “School updates and a rant

  1. First of all, congrats to the little girl for all the awards. You sure must be a proud mom Ani! In fact, even I feel so proud of her. Will you give her a big bear hug on my behalf? Please… :)

    Mommy guilt weighs us down from unexpected quarters. No?! :( I am really sorry I did the post yesterday. Bad timing! And no.. you are not offending me. You are making me think. If that can really happen! :) :)

    I’ll try answering your questions with my PoV some time. But this is my PoV only. Like you say, one size doesn’t fit all. But another PoV can provide perspective in my opinion. Hence, will try.

    Please stop beating yourself up for these things. Doesn’t all this form a part of the job-description of the mommy?! So, its okay! Cool!

    • a big bear hug will be given today evening on your behalf :)
      hey don’t feel sorry SnS.. your post made me think a lot..actually it helped me.. I should thank you for that..would love to read your PoV as that might give me a different perception.. I am staying cool otherwise with amazing friends like you around :)

  2. congratulations Adi for awards…. A proud moment for mum & dad :-)
    about shouting, the guilt kills me later :-( I prefer to walk away from the confrontation/scene to gain some perspective….I am still learning but hopefully one day I’ll control my anger, frustration and emotions….

    sorry to hear about your Mama

    • thanks AT :)
      same here.. the guilt kills me afterwards :( hopefully one day we all will reach there..
      My mama’s loss is always a pain in my heart as I didn’t get that opportunity to meet him or talk to him on his final days..

  3. Congratulations to dear Adi for being a star and winning those awards and I loved her handwriting in the poster :D
    Tight hugs sweetie…please don’t punish yourself with so much mommy guilt. I am now busy thinking over your questions and racing over to read the post SnS wrote and I haven’t read as yet.
    Take care!

  4. Yayyy Congrats to Adi kutti. Brialliant kid she is :) :) Give her tighttt hugs ok!
    Hugs to you too Ani!!!You are a great mom ok! Please don’t worry!Hugs Hugs and more hugs!
    one size doesn’t fit for all – That is so true!

  5. OH MY GOD!! Is she for real?? I mean SO MANY AWARDS!! baap rey…I havent even met her but here look at me all teary eyed and proud and all that…

    and her handwriting is super…loved that chart…

    Errr…on not being there for the award, I did it with R’s sports day na…chalta hai rey…of course she will feel bad and bring up the issue when she is 16 and not allowed to go on a date, but then till then relax :)

    Muah to you and to her..and so so so proud of both of you

  6. Big congrats to Adi…
    Its ok babes sometimes parents are helpless you did not miss her function intentionally.Stop feeling guitly and most importantly stop doing any sort of violent stuff in front of Adi,it might create a bad effect on her .Take Care.

    • thanks for the wishes garima :)
      I never behave violent in front of her for that matter in front of anyone re.. I was just telling to her in a jovial note :) I would be the last in the earth to teach her anything bad..

  7. CONGRATULATIONNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSS … Well done to ADI.. brilliant Wow I bet you were so proud …

    Well I too have that grudge with my parents because I was so BADdddddddddd in studies managed to pass thats it amd could see parents not happy.. but when it came to sports I won everything :) but since i was in a hostel and parents were in a different city they never could make it .. I think the only time they came was when i was in my 10th class ..

    Congrats to Adi once again

    • wowwwwww you are a sports man? which sport do you like the most? As long as we are good at something its okay Bikram.. you did all your schooling from hostel? baap re.. you would have missed home big time.. take care and thanks for the wishes..

      • I did all sports , i had nothing ot show for studies but enough medals in sports, the problem is in our country in those days being good in sports meant nothing, everyone wanted to see that marksheet first..
        I still play hockey even though the knees keep telling to STOP…

        yeah all schooling in hostel since 4th class and then graduation and masters tooo all in hostel , although i was in same city but i lived in hostel :) it was fun

  8. Wow! You must be so proud of her …. getting so many awards :)
    Cheebu is like Adi too … with her teacher, her friends moms, neighbors praising her and she throwing a tantrum at home all the time. If you find a solution, tell me :)
    And don’t worry too much about missing the award. It feels bad I know, but I think Adi did understand … and I hope you missed your evening snack :D
    Revisiting old photo collections is so nostalgic …

    • I am definitely proud of her LS.. hope it continues :)
      as I have mentioned there is no one good solution to this.. we need to deal with it according to the situation and circumstances.. I am out of the guilt now.. thanks to you all :)

  9. Congratulations to Adi! She is a superstar! All your efforts(and hers) paid off so well! Hugs to you too! It must be so special!

    Her handwriting is really good! All that effort you take over her makes me feel like a slovenly mum :( I think I need to be a more of a tiger mum – I am very laid back :( I should pick up a few tips from you! I am sure Adi will appreciate all this when she is older and wiser :)

    • thanks a lot Smitha.. Arey I am not a tiger mom and all.. I know how much this girl will crib if she doesn’t do it perfect so I make her do them good to avoid that whining at later time..
      stay cool and do things at your own pace that will suit you and Poohi well.. basically we should learn to take many avatar as a mom based on the need :)

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