My fears are nearing – need help

This was always at the back of my mind. How to handle situations when Adi starts saying lies. Yes, it is inevitable with any kid. I cannot hide the fact by saying my kid never lies blah blah blah. She started recently 

Me : Adi, why did you spill the water? Can’t you be careful pattumma?
Adi: I did not spill it amma. It was appa but don’t ask appa okay? She repeats don’t ask appa till I reply as “Ok I will not ask him”

Daddy, mommy said I can watch 3 television shows but don’t ask amma okay?

Mommy, appa asked me to take two lollipops but don’t ask appa okay?

I keep reiterating to her that it is okay to accept mistakes. Mommy or daddy will not say anything if you are honest but we will not encourage falsehood. We intentionally did not yell at her for couple of mischiefs. Difficult to handle huh?

I don’t expect her to be like harichandra but the least she should not hide big matters from me down the lane. I should give her the confidence of being a friend than a parent. She should feel free to share not all but most of her emotions with me. It is not easy to bring this into practice. I wish to be with her at all her difficult times and wish to be the first person to share her joy and sorrow. I should learn to strike a balance between being a parent and a friend. My mom did this pretty well and succeeded on it. It is all about building a trust between the relationships.

Will I succeed in this effort? Am I worrying too early? Any suggestions on how to handle this?

3 thoughts on “My fears are nearing – need help

  1. Yep, it is inevitable, I too see this in Ila.
    Nothing to worry though as I think Adi is too little to make her understand all this. They lie just for fun and nothing intentionally.

    I think your approach of asking the kid to be honest rather than pointing out that “you are lieing and you shouldn’t be lieing….” is correct. you got the perspective. you need to make it clear that being dishonest is not a fun nor you like it.. by reiterating in a polite and polished way (as u said like being a friend than a parent) you will succeed… Take Care 🙂

  2. I can completely get you.I hv started fearing now itself for Ambuli’s behavior,so its not early,its better you bend her now itself.When ever she tells you dont ask Daddy,you should ask, why should i not ask daddy?why are you telling so?? instead of agreeing to her,ask these and make her realise her mistake.it shld workout.

  3. @ambilisamma : thanks I am doing the same… I keep asking her all these questions and finally give up saying ok i will not ask when she starts screaming at her peak…. recently couple of times she accepted that she did the mistake which made me feel happy and confident that I am on the right track

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