how do you feel?

When your kid says

bad mommy – when you ask her to brush before hitting the bed

yucky mommy – when you ask her to wash face and hands in the evening before attacking snack

bad bad bad bad bad…. (is there anything above infinite just replace it here. literally she repeats bad bad bad at least for more than a minute) mommy – when you don’t let her watch TV (of course beyond the regular quota. I am not that evil) or play games in iTouch when it is way past bed time.

I will only love you if you buy something for me today.

I don’t like you anymore when you prepare her for head bath with oil massage every Sunday morning though it comes with a story.

I will not love you anymore if you don’t do this for me right away.

I will not love you anymore if you don’t let me do this.

how do you feel when you hear this repeating in different combination multiple times a day?  I know most times that its fake and not take it to my heart but dealing with this also depends on your current state of mind isn’t it?  One time I try to explain, another time I silently cry, another time I laugh it out, another time I burst, another time I sigh, another time I shrug off  but no matter how I react there is a pricking pain deep in my heart every time she says this… Hope this is phase and shall pass off soon..

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12 thoughts on “how do you feel?

  1. This phase too shall pass, Ani.. Definitely. I am not saying this as a mom ‘cos I am yet to experience this phase.

    I am saying this as a devilish daughter of a wonderful mom. I am not even talking about my teenage years. Even before that, I remember how I’d scream and not talk to my mom, if she bought a new saree for her and nothing for me. The fact that she was working and I was in school with only uniforms to wear daily and also, the financial constraints we had at that time – nothing got into my head. I am so so ashamed of my actions till today. But, when I talk about it today to my mom, she smiles and says ‘that’s how a child behaves, right? I should be bothered if you are the same today. But now that you are a completely different person makes me feel happy!’

    So that’s all what I want to say. Adi is a child after all. Don’t take her actions to heart.

    • thanks a lot S&S.. yeah I just hope this phase passes off soon.. Even I remember acting like it is my right to get it if the budget allows only one of anything or if there is only one piece of sweet left.. I remember sharing it with my bro some times but never ever thought of sharing it with amma and she didn’t bother too… they are amazing isn’t it? I should learn to follow her path…

  2. Am already facing a part of this.
    Today am over loaded with guilty as me being away from her for long hours make her behave this way,not sure though.
    Adi is sweet as far as i have read about her,as rightly said above she is still a kid.

  3. Ani, though am not a big fan of personality dev. books, i liked one message in the book Good Dad Bad Dad (yeah i know, the dad must have read it, but i did;)).. Instead of saying- “I’m angry with you” or “I hate you”, or “I’m not happy with you”, he suggests the approach of “I’m not happy with your behaviour though you are a nice girl” etc.. It has been working well with Vyas and now his approach to me is also the same:)) Amma- I don’t like your being so rigid/strict/mean etc.. when he is denied extra TV time, junk food, or when he demands a reward.. He has learnt to put an identity to his problem.. Earlier it was ‘I hate you, you are a bad amma’ etc.. Not that he doesn’t say it at all, but its very rare now- maybe because he has grown up:) So dont feel bad or cry.. The kids consider our ways bad/mean/ugly etc while they adore the moms.. or let us at least think so:)) Aah, i don’t know if i,m making any sense here.. still..

  4. I would feel the same too Ani 😦 I am sure she will get over it as she grows up. I appreciate Vidya’s comment and I will remember it when I talk to my lil one 🙂

  5. I’m sure this is a phase…though I’m not an expert to comment cause I’m far away from this right now…but reading this I’m making mental notes for days to come in my life in near future…

    at least reading your experiences and how you tackle situations will prepare me for things to come 🙂

    but I can understand that yes deep inside it might be hurting…reading this I also thought of how I said all this to my mother and how she must have felt ..for things she was doing for my well being…sigh…motherhood!

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