Do I deserve this?

One evening I saw this note near bedroom door and the door was locked with the girl inside. All this because I asked her to write few extra lines.

And today she is at home with her appa. Her school is closed today and the cashew nut enthu cutlet in me volunteered to work from home but she replied with a strict NO.  She added “I want appa to work from home” just to break my already broken heart into million pieces.

She thinks I exist only to make her drink milk, eat vegetables, do homework, wash face in the evening, brush teeth in the night et all..

Her frequent questions to me…

why does everything has to happen in your way?

will I ever get my free time? (especially when she just enjoyed all the free time and I ask her to write)

why should I listen to you always? why can’t you listen to me today? (Just to clarify listening to her means letting her watch more TV)

Don’t say anything now. I know what you are going to say.  (When I call her name out to drink milk or do homework)

and she has bestowed me with the names as evil mommy, mean mommy and what not..

All these in spite of having ample only free times on weekend, watching half hour of TV every evening,  amma reading book to her at bedtime, buying her reward for all petty things (okayyy may be petty for me but not for her), spending quality time with her by making crafts or playing games.

where am I lagging? I am not denying the fact that there are “you are the best mommy”, “I love you sooo much” moments too but somehow today the negative force is dominating my mind.

The last words I heard from her today before leaving to work is “Go away…”  because I gave her a glass of milk to drink after breakfast :(.

16 thoughts on “Do I deserve this?

  1. I can very well understand your pain Ani. It’s a situation that comes very often in a mother-daughter relationship. I actually remember myself being in Adi’s shoes not very long ago, so I know what you mean.

    The best approach in this case is trying to ignore it . Yep, it actually sounds crazy in one go but it works like a charm for both parties. My mum has done it many times with me, and I actually felt better real soon when left by myself rather than having her trying endlessly to make me feel better.

    It’s not about you lagging anywhere, it’s about Adi trying to do everything exactly opposite of what she’s told to do, trying to show she’s a grown up now. So give in sometimes and pull the strings tighter at others.

    Sending tons of positive vibes and smiles your way 😀 😀 😀

  2. Hmm dont worry too much its because daddy does not get too much time with her and it becomes a novelty to have him. You are always there so daddy gets precedence.
    She will be fine chillll and dont look too much into it she is just a child 🙂

    Take care and smile now..

  3. Awww! hugs darling..listen Ani….she loves you okie? and she doesnt think you are someone to just feed her and do craft with her..its a phase…I did this to my amma when I was about 5 …infact I toh asked her if she was my step mother (Thanks to the Hansel and Gretal story I had read) so chill…I know its pretty disheartening…but remember this is JUST A phase…if you are not around for even a day, she wiill miss you big time okie 🙂

    hugs and more hugs and big hugs

  4. Aiyo Ani.. Just take away all the negativity I say! It is only with Amma we can be like this, no? That’s why Adi is so.
    Like ME says, I can put myself in Adi’s shoes. Not when I was 5/6 years, even now I do that. Probably b’cos we take Ammas for granted. So, don’t worry. It is just a phase. It will go away very soon! Hugs!

    P.S. – Will send you a e-mail!

  5. breaks my heart to read this…difficult to believe that Adi said and did this but guess that’s how it is..phase takes places in children’s life too like in adults…so may be we just need to let it pass…..Adi’s papa can be a great help in this like sitting her down and talking and asking her why she thinks so of you or making her understand why you put rules around her life and the importance of them all or helping you gals patch up? something like that?

  6. I can totally understand what you must be feeling. Guess it is all part of growing up. Sid sometimes says “mamma venda..” when I try to interrupt Dad son play time (and he is not even 2 yet!). Hubby tells me that it is only momentary that he doesnt want you around.. and has no deeper meaning than that. Well, I believe so too 🙂 keeps my sanity!

  7. Hugs to you Ani. I think I agree with Era. Just ignore her and don’t give much ‘Bhaav’. She will come around in a while. Thik hai? Now smile please 😀

  8. Hugs Ani…Every single time no matter what/who irritates me I always shout at my amma only.. I know its evil but it is easy to show my anger to amma than to anyone else because we all know that no matter what we do amma will always love us.As others say, its just a phase,It will go away..loads of love sweety!

  9. Hugs dear..give Adi some time.When she is little grown up then she will be able to understand you.This age us such that kids are neither too young to obey their parents nor grown up to take wise decision.They feel they are grown up but actually they are not.Relax its just a pahse ,things will change soon ,smile dear 🙂

  10. Hey Ani! HUGS dear. Really, I think its just a phase for her. I know it still hurts but I can tell you she wont even remember all these…

    Hoiw do I know? I have been such a kid telling my mom I hate her when she tried disciplining me. But today she means the world to me…

    Smile! let go! Its ok… Im sure she wil give you a hug before going to bed 😀 you give her a hug and tell her you love her….

  11. Hugs Ani! That must be so tough to handle. I think you should just ignore her behaviour – that might work better than if you try to confront her or try to pamper her..

    And I was such a child too- there was a time when anything Amma said, I would object to.. But now, I can’t sleep if I haven’t spoken to her. She is my dearest friend, and one I can talk anything to..

    Hugs – this will pass soon.

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