2nd Jan 2013 evening – this is pretty much the scenario on most of the weekday evenings as we return from school just that the reason for madness will be different every day.
Ani: Pappa, after we go home, remove your shoes, keep it in shoe rack, remove your jacket, place it in the closet, change dress, wash face and come to the kitchen to fix your snack.
Adi: Amma, I am too mad today to do anything. You know what I am going to do after we go home?
Ani: Yeah yeah I know I know !!!!! **rolls eyes**
You are just going to remove your shoes and lie upside down in the bed for rest of your life. You will only get up to use bathroom and eat because you are too mad to do anything (I now know this line by heart as she had so far repeated it like one thousand times).
Adi: Now, stop copying me.
Ani: *walking silently beside her trying to put my hands over her shoulder but she moves away*
After two minutes
Adi: Do you know why I am mad?
Ani: How would I know if you don’t tell me? Should I guess?
Adi: NNOOOO !!!!!! I am mad because all of my classmates and friends got something from their parents on the new year day but you didn’t buy me anything. I don’t want to be the odd man out. You should buy me something this weekend.
Ani: This is not fair at all pappa.
Adi: Yes, it is not fair at all. Better buy me something today itself or else don’t buy anything for me forever and ever. I don’t want to be the odd man out.
We reach home. I remove my extra outer layers that protect us from winter and she sits in the recliner with a mad face not even removing her shoes. After around fifteen minutes I tell her the below in a very soft tone (though she was not in listening mood and was crankier at her best) and entered the kitchen to start with my cooking preparations.
“Pappa this is not fair. Didn’t you make two visits to the sweet shop last week just because you wanted that yellow colored milk peda? Didn’t we get you Samosa from the chat shop on new year eve? Have we ever said a strong NO to you anytime? Do you know how amma/appa feels when you get mad/sad though we try our best to keep you happy? Didn’t I make you special meals on the new year day? Don’t we try our best to make every occasion so special for you? Everyone is different pappa. If your classmates got something special on new year day, you got something special on new year’s eve. Not all people gets what they want at the same time or same day. If you are sad or mad that makes me sad. Now, if you want your snacks, better change your clothes, get refreshed and come to the kitchen”.
She continued to sit there for another good 15 minutes, then refreshed herself and came to the kitchen to get her snack. We didn’t talk much after that and both of us were busy with our own evening routine/chores. The air was not so tensed anymore. She finished homework on time, we reviewed it together and talked in general. While I was having my dinner, she sat next to me and when we were talking about her day she suddenly said
“I don’t want to talk about it further but I am not mad about that anymore”.
I had no clue and asked “What?”
“That thing I was mad about in the evening, I am not mad about that anymore”.
I just squeezed her with a tight hugs and said “thanks”… We didn’t talk about it further.
The message has reached my little girl and she had given it a thought. Isn’t it so nice of her to acknowledge it? I know this is just the beginning and there is much more to come but I was glad that my talk has reached her, even more glad that she allowed it to reach her at this tender age of 7.
The lesson I learned is “Talk to your kids. Whether they listen or not. Keep talking (of course not when they are in highly irrirated mood). But, keep the conversation going and also listen to them”
It was one of those proud momma moment 🙂 🙂
Thanks to the blogging marathon, LLT who intiated this and SnS who pulled me in. I would not have recorded this incident in this space if it was not to post daily. Posting daily makes me look for topics from the daily happenings and I am loving it to capture more and more of such happy/not so happy slices of life.