I was in a dilemma of whether to vent it out or not and finally decided to go with the former.
I have a friend a very close one but not in regular touch who once (read as some two years ago) had a financial emergency. The friend called me, explained the situation, asked for help and promised to return the money in less than a week.
I explained the situation to M, he got in touch with his friend at India who has the same bank account as my friend and can transfer the Indian currency to my friend’s account right away. M transferred the equivalent US dollars to his friend’s account. All this happened within a day as we totally understood the friend’s emergency.
But, what followed after that made me feel sick. The friend had occasional contact with me and used to tell that the situation is bad and will return the money soon. I simply replied with a “that’s fine. take care” message. Now, it has been more than many months and the friend doesn’t even talk about it. Worst, the friend never spoke to M after that incident. The friend had his/her own ups and downs in this period or so I convinced myself. I assume the friend leads a normal life for a while now and if the friend had the heart to repay it should not be a big deal. No, I am not judging but the circumstances appears so. It is not huge money at all for any IT professional earning abroad (read as less than 15% of the average monthly wage at US).
Forget about the money, what about the trust? Of course, the friend had also helped me at many occasions in the past but..
Even now I am not feeling angry, instead I am surrounded with fear!
I only fear for the trust that’s already broken!
I only fear for helping another friend in need in future!
I only fear for to be taken for granted!
I only fear for the perception, M would build (or already built!) around my own friend as he was the one who went out of the way to help in need!
What does the friend really have in mind? Is the friend also thinking in same line, as its not a huge money for two paycheck people, so why bother to return?
I don’t want to ask the friend but at the deep of my heart I feel betrayed, very deeply!