Archive | July 12, 2014

bad parenting

I shouted at Adi today.. Uncontrollably like a histeric person and feeling shameful to say that I broke the top part of a lid as I was working at kitchen at that time. I feel bad about myself. I don’t have the energy to explain why and the details but I feel bad.. very bad. Tears are flowing non stop.. I am sitting at living room typing this post and Adi is at bed room lying upside down on the bed. I don’t know how I will make it up with her.. Something is bothering me.. I am not able to pin point at the issue and something is bothering me very much. I have become a whining girl, crying every other day for no reason. Absolutely no reason from the surface but there is a reason deep in my mind that is triggering all this. At this point, I am not able to decipher this reason and even if I do, I don’t know if I will have a solution for it. So, why bother to know the reason? Is this how life treats every body? why is grass is always greener on the other side? where does all my gyans for others vanish when I am at it..  Like I always promise myself every time, I promise now that I will not shout at Adi anymore and be harsh to her and sincerely hope that she will erase this incident from her memory… Today is just another bad parenting day!!!