When I returned home, the house (living room – first sight as you enter) was at its worst state and kids were watching TV. I had plans to sit with LHB in the evening to study but my mood was completely off once I looked at the situation at home. It did not help at all when LHB was saying “Appa is watching TV all day”. He did laundry but the state of home got on to my nerves instantly. I didn’t react, took hot shower, went about doing my work, took pain killers for muscle cramps and retired to bed. I was too tired to even talk. I had to clear the kitchen before cook aunty came and she also decided to give me hard time yesterday asking me to clean this, cut that et all.
And, I lost my cool today morning when I saw a bunch of wires and some more items sitting at the pooja counter top. They are there for past 4 days waiting to be sorted out by M which is driving me nuts every time I see them but I didn’t lose my temper until today morning. I don’t know if its just me but when the house is not clean it has a direct deep impact on the state of my mind and the family doesn’t seem to care about it at all. I hate to see Adi sitting amidst that clumsy environment and watch TV with a “I don’t bother” attitude. CLEANING HOME is not a one time thing or a weekend chore or just my task. IT HAS TO BE AN EVERYDAY CHORE BY EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY SAME AS HOW WE EAT 3 MEALS A DAY. I mean I understand that LHB is at this prime age to make a mess right after we clean up but can’t the rest of the clan just do cleanup after him periodically to keep the home tidy? Enough said!! (sorry about the caps. I have still not got back to my normal state yet!!)
So, today morning when I had to offer to God and pray and saw all those wires at the counter top I lost my cool and exploded. I hate to judge but I don’t care what the 3 of them did during my absence, I texted him while leaving from the friend’s place and it is an one hour drive. Couldn’t he be little considerate of me and tidy up the home and wires in that one hour? Is it a demanding ask? That one hour of his effort would have aided me to spend more quality time with kids last evening and have started this week on a happy note. I was grumpy last evening and it is continuing. I was shouting in front of Adi and I am sure all this is only painting a bad picture to her. I dread to even think in lines of the impact of this to kids. I am only getting distant with them as much as I want to be close to them. Just imagine me walking around grumpy during the limited time I get to spend with them? They are clearly not getting the best of me when I am so much pre-occupied with things like this. Sigh!!!
I wanted to work from home today as these muscle cramps didn’t get any better but given the state of home (mostly living room) I have to clean it all before I start the day. I can’t do the cleaning with current grumpy state so I just literally dragged myself to work. Don’t know what is in store for rest of this week!!!!
It doesn’t feel good to almost end blogathon with this big rant!!!!!! I am extremely sorry folks!!!