Of my Alto, travel

I am glad to have taken a picture of my Alto and write about it. He is gone forever. Too soon that I didn’t get a chance to say a goodbye or see him one last time to capture the picture in my memory. M’s relative was coordinating the selling task, an interested party came to see it on Monday, they instantly liked it and took it on Wednesday.

When they came on Wednesday morning, I was at home folding clothes, arranging the closet upstairs and didn’t bother to come down to witness the scene as somehow it didn’t strike me that they were here to take my Alto with them forever. Or may be lack of communication. Whatever it is, I didn’t get to see him one last time and say a final good bye.

I wish he stayed with me for couple of more days.

I wish he was given away after my travel.

I wish I had drove him knowing that would be our last ride together.

I wish I had said a personal thank you for all the places he has taken me to and be one of my best companion in India.

I have very few things left to call as my identity and have lost the best of them!

I hope the new owner takes good care of him!

Just yesterday, I have checked the number plates of few grey Alto’s on road in the hope to see him again. Maybe some day. After all it is a small world!

Kids and I are traveling back today. I  feel like that school kid returning to school after annual break. My tummy is churning and I feel restless. People are my strength and lifeline. I don’t want to travel to an alien country leaving behind my people. Yes, I have lived in that country for more than a decade yet it feels alien to me. My head spins if I think about the logistics, kids, work, financial needs and all other sundry demands of life and realize that I have no choice but to move on!!

My MIL, the husband, his cousin brother, his sisters, my parents, cook/helper lady everyone is struggling in their own way to move on without the pillar of strength. I must do my part too without being a trouble!

We are traveling in few hours, Adi is running temperature, LHB says he is hurt and limping, I got my monthly special. Still, I am trying to stay up, count all my blessings and tell life to bring it on!! Let’s face it!!

Front door and FIL

We have few secured latches to completely lock the front door at home. Last week, the middle lock was misaligned and we were not able to latch it properly. Because of that the top and bottom latches also gave trouble.

M and some of his cousin brother’s tried hard few times and no one was able to lock the door. So, they were discussing about it for a while and decided to apply oil to the joints and get external help the next day if needed.

After a while, the guests left and M was securing all locks before going to bed. He was in shock and called out for all of us as he was able to secure the main door latches with just a gentle push.

It looked like as if someone has oiled the latches and made it work. He called his brother’s right away and none of them believed him.

Now, how are we supposed to interpret this incident? M says confidently that no-one else other than his father could have made this possible as he could feel his father’s touch in that work!

He even started believing that souls do exist and they act as our guardian angel! I believe it too!

Happy 6th

Dear kutty,

We are going through a tough phase as a family now. R thatha is not with us anymore and it is tearing us apart when you go stand in front of his photo and talk to him.

You are talking/thinking more about thatha since yesterday as now we have his picture placed at living room.

Your only wish today while blowing the candle is to have R thatha alive. I hope this wish comes true.

These are words from you at random times today with no influence from anyone.

“It is not fair Amma. Thatha should know that its my birthday today. How can he just go? He should be here”

“Amma, I now have only one thatha. Can you tell K thatha to be thatha #1 and thatha #2?”

“Amma, can R thatha hear me when I talk to him? Will he come if I call him?”

“Amma, thatha died. He can’t talk to me anymore”

To keep you up, we did cake cutting at Ammachi’s home and went out for dinner with extended family. I do not have the energy to recollect and write about your last year. I will do it some other day.

You are the biggest blessing to our family da. Our life would have been dull and serious without you. You are the binding factor and you bring out all type of emotions from all of us. You make us laugh, cry, fear and shout with your traits.

Your laugh is contagious. You amaze me with the over thinking of that little brain of yours. I say “Indha kutty moolai evlo yosikudhu”..

You talk NON-STOP. I mean it. You can’t stay quite for two minutes together. You have to talk to breathe normal. Your other name can be Mr.Nagger.

May you be blessed with good health and happiness, Love you kutty!

More later!!

Love,
Amma