Dementia

Adi is heavily involved in volunteering this summer and so are we as we have to handle all drop/pickups and adult supervision part if it.

She has been volunteering at many places like soup kitchen, kiddie camps, senior citizens home, temple, community events et all. Today afternoon she was volunteering at senior centre and we were talking about that experience on the way back home.

Amma: Pappa, how was the experience at senior centre today?
Adi: It was good ma. I got to dance with them and keep them engaged. The seniors love it when kids spend time with them.
Amma: That’s sweet. Now, tell me something. Will I also end up in a senior centre like this in my old days?
Adi: NO, that centre is only for seniors with Dementia!!
Amma: So, what if I get dementia?
Adi: That’s absolutely not possible.
Amma: How can you be so sure?
Adi: ‘Coz I say so, ‘coz you have to remember way too many things on everyday basis so you cannot afford to get dementia
Amma: Like?
Adi: My schedule, LHB class times, your work priorities, house keeping tasks, my drop/pickup times, our school needs. You maintain the calendar of events for everyone at home sooo yes you absolutely cannot afford to have Dementia
Amma: (mind voice) At least someone in the family is acknowledging all the juggling that Amma is handling day in and day out.
Adi (in a firm voice after few minutes of silence): So, yes Amma, I am right. You cannot afford to have Dementia. Period.

We often think kids don’t understand our struggles but it is not true. They watch us very closely. So, better to be mindful of our actions in their presence. The easiest way to follow it is just change into the person we want them to watch through their eyes.

Same day night at 10pm:

I settle down in couch to carry on with my work demands. I ask Adi for three help thinking she will oblige given she understands my everydya struggles. The 3 help was to get my laptop/charger, get me a lap pillow and plug the charger into nearest plug point as the night is going to be long. I had minimum 4 hours of work waiting for me. She got me the laptop/charger and walked away in spite of  my repeated pleading to just plug in the charger. How am I expected to react to this? Can you expect this from a child on the same day after having a conversation like above? She just went to bed. LHB came down the stairs to plug the charger, gave me a big hug saying “you are the best amma” and left. Kids surprise us at the least expected time!!!

 

 

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FIL

Today is my FIL’s birthday. We have celebrated his birthday in person for the past 3 years with the yearly summer India trip. Thoughts about him are flashing in mind all day today and I have decided to follow a simple ritual on this day every year in his remembrance. I am sure he is in a better place, watching and guiding us through every step. A man from whom I have drawn many life lessons, A man whom I respect the most, A man who lived his retirement life as an example to others, A man who loves gardening, A man who has nil expectations and absolutely no ego.

The way he took me and my children under his wings when we shared same roof for about 2 years and every time we visit him will be etched in my memory for ever. I am telling you, it is very hard to find a person like him. He has not hurt anyone I know of and always ready to help those in need. A lifetime inspiration to me. I miss you mama. You have made me a better person and I promise to carry forward your legacy through your grandchildren. I will share stories about you with all and sundry as long as I live.

I might just end up reposting this every year on his birth and death anniversary as every word in this post is a fact and nothing less.

 

Small joys

It is that time of the day when people run from all directions to the train station to catch train to head back home. I was climbing down the stairs in train station and a lady ran past me to catch the train that was about to close doors and leave in 5 secs. As she went past me, a metro train card and train monthly pass fell down from her bag. Another guy picked it up in a slow pace and the very moment I knew he is not going to make an attempt to find her to hand it over.

So, I quickly grabbed it from him, ran down the stairs, went past few doors to look out for the lady standing inside the train but I couldn’t find her. All this happened in that fraction of 5 secs and train doors were about to close. I took an educated guess as how far she could have gone and boarded the nearby cabin. Each cabin is long enough to have 3 doors so my guess was that she could not have gone past those 3 doors in 5 secs. Train started and my eyes were screening the cabin from one end to another to find the lady. I had only 3 minutes in hand to find her as I had to get down in next station. All I knew is she was short, wore a black dress and had short hair. I felt so bad holding more than 200 dollars worth pass in my hand and not able to find its owner. I was peeking through the crowd furiously and just 1 minute before I was about to get down I found the lady standing closer to the other side of second door. I was standing near the third door. With couple of quick excuse me’s I made my way to her, tapped on her back and gave the pass.

That moment, the relief I felt, the look on her face and her repeated thank you will be etched in my memory for a long time to come and will make me feel good and happy.

This incident balanced today to be a good day in spite of uncertainties at work. My manager announced her resignation today and I am yet to recover from that shock. I will miss a great leader for sure!!