Exhausted is the word of the day! Today is one such day, I had to push myself hard to get through the day. the day my ability has been tested, the day I have to look deep for gratitude, the day I walk around feeling helpless, in secure and weird, the day I have to constantly reinforce my mind about the path I have chosen to follow, the day I have to remind self about how much I have grown mentally during pandemic times. How do I measure my growth? You may ask!
On a similar day, few years back I would have either lost my cool, raised my voice to the family for no fault of theirs and expose my disturbed mind or cried buckets but today none of that happened. I know this is not an easy path but this is what I want to follow and I can’t give up just because it’s not easy. I have come too far to give up!
I have requested LHB to switch to my bed today and the little one graciously agreed after giving me a gyan for 10 minutes. “You know Amma, you have to let me sleep in my bed. I have to practice from now so I can sleep in my room when I turn 10. What is the point of having a room if I don’t sleep there? Only today okay?”
I am just going to hug him tight, get into my safe zone and close my eyes. Sleep will come when it can!
Tomorrow will be a better day!