Happy 12th

Dear Adi,

I have a 12 year old daughter. Phew. Life is moving on lightning speed. You know what makes me terrified these days. The feeling that you will soon fly out of this nest. And whenever that pang of feelings hit me I rush to the room where you are and just hang around. I know I am insane, for god only knows you might just go to college from home but with every day passing that feeling of “I am going to miss you” is hitting me hard kannama.

You are a well rounded child who knows the nitty gritty to handle most of the situation. You adapt very well. You are an adviser to some of your friends. You know your values. You are honest and compassionate. You are considerate.You cannot hurt others. You don’t like to be a defaulter. I am sure you will not get involved in any act that will make you regret later. You have that self control. Yet, you still act like a child and happy with watching just kid appropriate movies. What more can I ask for? I am proud to be your mother and you give me that grand feeling that I have done a good job in raising you so far ma.

You are part of a gang of 7 girls and your gang in named MAARRSS after the first letter of each of the gansgter name. You girls are like a close knit standing for each other for anything and everything. I am so glad that you are part of a gang. I love listening to all the chit chats and meaningless convos you girls have and how you all plan every small thing.

A major shift I noticed in you this year is you have come out of the cocoon to participate in competitions. Some of the competitions you participated this year are Odyssey of the mind, battle of the books, battle of the classes and celebrating art. We had rich experience with Odyssey of the mind where both Appa and I volunteered with a 4 yr old in tow and we as a family spent the whole day at a different middle school. There was so much to learn. I enjoyed all those off site meetings you girls had at our home to prepare for the competition. I would just sit there and watch you all chit-chating and working at the same time. I already see me in you in some of your actions ma. One of your art has been selected to be published in an art book. We are yet to know your ranking. My jaw literally dropped looking at your recent portrait for an English project.

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You are continuing with carnatic music and piano. You agreed to sing during golu visits (it is a big leap) and recently gave a performance in local sai baba temple. Still long way to go with both arts.

You can make an omelette for yourself now with us not in the vicinity. One day when I was late to work and you were home, you made onion ring omelette and packed it for me 🙂 You love cooking the non messy stuff and you are up for baking anytime.

You don’t like to dress up. You are absolutely fine with a pair of t shirts and pants. You think skirts, ear rings or any kind of jewelry are not meant for you. Its a big deal to even take off knots or oil your hair, forget about styling.

You are taking school bus in the morning from this year. That is you walking to the bus stop on the first day of boarding bus. All these years we have dropped you at school and this is a first. I love packing your dabba every day though that means I have to wake up one hour early. You noticed that I packed your favorites for lunch all this week to keep it a special week.

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LHB annoys you the most but you embrace him like a second mother. I couldn’t avoid this as much as I want to. It just happens naturally and me trying to keep you out of his chores looks out of place. So, I just let it go with the flow. My point is not to make you think of him as a burden. You are the bestest Akka and my eyes well up with happy tears when I see you both cuddling. Sibling love is magical. I wish you both to enjoy this all your life. That’s the two of you watching TV.

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I can’t wait to see you as that independent woman handling the good, bad and ugly of life all with a grace. I am sure you are going to rock it ma.

I love you to the moon and back kannama. May god bless you to stay the same always.

Always with you and for you. You can count on your family for anything under the sun.



Happy Pongal

அனைவருக்கும் இனிய பொங்கல் நல்வாழ்த்துக்கள்

A very happy pongal / makara sankaranti to all.

Pongal season every year takes me back to my school days when we used to celebrate it in my native village in the most traditional way possible along with grand parents and relatives. I feel blessed to have experienced such a rich tradition and witness the principled life led by both sets of grand father. People in those years were definitely smarter and well mannered than us that too with minimal to no support of technology. They used natural resources in the most efficient and respectful way.

Pongal is the time to pay respect and thank farm fields, cattle and people. I am glad to have documented every detail of my good old tradition here.

Miss my village. Miss my thatha. Miss my ethinicity. Basically I am in a miss my identity state today.

Made sakarrai pongal and ulundu vadai for offering. This time we also bought sugarcane and whole coconut for offering. The tradition is to break the coconut while praying and it is usually done by the men.

M made kids sit on the table and they all had lunch together. A rare occurrence at that. It was a sight to watch all the three enjoying pongal and vada though I chose to sit on the couch due to lack of chair. I could have pulled out the hidden chair but was too lazy and very hungry as I was surviving with just a cup of tea since morning.



Source of craziness

Today morning  I was working at kitchen and Adi was around getting ready. Suddenly I came up with some rhyming sentences and sang it to her

Take it easy
easy peasy
you and me are
always crazy!!!

I liked the rhyming so much that I was on a loop for a while and said “Thank you Adi” I know you will sing this to your friends today. Feel free to share that your Amma came up with this awesomeness.

Aaannddd she said “Yeah right so they can conclude that the craziness runs in the whole family” in a matter of fact tone.

My own finger pointing at me “Kalankathala unakku idhu thevaiyaaa??” (Do you really need this in the morning?)

Shrugs shoulder and continues to sing loud to annoy the girl even more!!! Hence I am late to work but that lighter moment with the girl in the morning is totally worth it..

11th party

Luckily, we didn’t have to squeeze our brain to think of a theme last year. The girl had it all pre planned. She wanted a sleep over party influenced from her peers.

As it is every year, we baked cake at home. It was a chocolate filled two layered vanilla cake with pink colored vanilla frosting. Mini kit kat’s decorated around for more choco effect. Chocolates are never enough. The little’s at this household can survive with just chocolates for many meals.

There is something  special about this 11 year old girl that the baking of cake taught me that day. She wanted me to bake a seperate small fruit cake for one of her friend as her friend has nut allery and she was afraid if the chocolates would have nuts in them. I was beaming with pride while baking and decorating the fruit cake. When did she grow up to be so thoughtful?  God bless her and keep her the same always! To be considerate of others.

That would be my first and foremost wish for my kids. To respect self, respect others, to be considerate of others, help others and stand on their own feet. Don’t ever be greedy darlings. If you need something you have to earn it in a genuine way!! Do not accept freebies. They grow a dangerous attitude within you that will spoil your mind and impact your closer ones too. Stay unbiased to everyone around you, treat people equally (men/women, tall/short, fat/slim, dark/white doesn’t matter) and do not fall for stereotypical thoughts.

Woww. That’s a lot I said. I should have made it a seperate post. I forgot this was supposed to be a party post. Just got carried away as I am going through this struggle of paying for someone else greediness!!!

Back to the party, she invited 6 girls. The first thing the girls did after putting down the bag was to get our home WiFi password from me. I wrote it in a piece of paper and kept in the table after the 2nd girl asked for it! **rolls eyes**

The rest of the party was handled by 6 girls. I was sitting in a corner watching them go wild and the little boy in middle of them going wilder.

They baked red velvette cup cakes, ate strawberries dipped in chocolate syrup, played “suck M&M with straw”, decorated their return gift (cross bag), ate pizza, cakes, watched movie and went to bed relectatnly around 1am. The boy was an active participant in all games. You could see that in pics.

They all slept upstairs in a king+full bed. When I went to wish them good morning I could see the girls sleeping in all possible directions. The boy couldn’t wait for them to come down. They had donuts for breakfast and then was chatting around until the parents started to come around 11am for pickup.

One of the thing that Adi didn’t like about the party was a subset of girls were preoccupied with this app called “Musically”.. They spent more time on phone and apologized for it before leaving as Adi was visibly upset.


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May be

The train doors were shut on my face today morning and the next train was after 20 mins. I hate it to the core when such a thing happens in the morning especially after you run like a dog to reach the platform to only see the door shut.

What did I do next? Sit on the station bench and start crying in public shamelessly.  Will I ever ever learn to control my tears?

Called M and gave him a piece of my mind. It was a monologue of course.

Why did I cry?

May be because I woke up early to catch the earlier train but still missed it by microseconds.

May be because M locked himself up in the bathroom for prolonged time with his phone in hand while I was juggling in between the morning rush

May be because Adi yelled at the top her voice when I attempted to give a good luck hug for her Math test today

May be because I am always in the mode of catching up with anything and everything rather than being ahead

May be because I am still struggling hard to spend quality time with LHB

May be because I am not able to function normal with 5 or 6 hours of sleep. I need my 8 hours of sleep every single damn night.

May be because I am not able to wake up early in the morning

May be because I am not able to make good progress on the book I so want to read and I have already renewed it once.

May be because I have been following this diet for around 2 months and don’t see any change in terms of weight reduction

And the icing on the cake is my neighbor who never boards at the station where I board caught me at the station with welled up eyes and I had to pretend to have caught cold. Sighh!!! When you are in a s**t, it only gets worse.

Whatever, I have gulped it all down and moved on to tackle the rest of my day. Nothing slows down for you. You don’t have a choice but to move on. Also, there is two things that made me smile. One, my all girls whatsapp group who are always there to listen where I vent out and another is below notification that I saw today morning, that reminded me that I used to vent out in this space too long long ago, so long ago…


How have you all been? Now that LHB is growing, I want to get back to regular blogging to record all his cuteness. He is at this stage of cuteness overloaded and amazes us every single day with something new.




Believe in fairies

One of the molar decided to fall down yesterday night precisely at 9pm and we were looking forward to the tooth fairy not because we believe in her but because it involves money business.

I asked her “do you believe in tooth fairy pappa?” and this was her reply verbatim

I know it is one of you guys but I just pretend to believe and play along as believing it means gift and money.

Seriously? I doubt if I was this smart even at my late 20s after mothering two kids or even now!!!

The tooth fairy didn’t come last night. It was too tired you know. May be tonight.. Lets see..

Happy 3rd

Dear LHB,

Did we already spend 3 years together kutti? Time sure flies but not fast enough for your mother who wants to see you as an independent boy. We have long way to go. First and foremost, you have to be potty trained. Then, feed by yourself. These are my priorities as that will save me a lot of time. But, the day you are ready to do all this, I will terribly miss my cute little boy who talks gibberish aka cute baby talk and kisses/hugs his mom generously. Sighh!! Parenthood can never be satisfied.

You are a happy boy kutti. You don’t cry unless it really bothers you but I see it changing in recent weeks. You pull Adi’s hair and start crying. I mean how is it fair? Though I have now trained myself to act as an unbiased refree, you get your way on certain occasions and the poor girl takes it all. She goes cross with me if I give time out to you for hurting her. Seriously? If there is one thing that I have to request you, that will be to treasure your akka da. Don’t take her for granted and hurt her. She cares for you above and beyond. She calls you “baby” and plans everything for you. She wants to have a small party for your birthday at home inviting two toddlers we know from neighborhood. She was telling me “It is not fair amma. You have to plan a party for the poor boy”. I convinced her that there are days to come when you will demand for it and for this year cake cutting at your school with classmates will just be fine. She carefully picked and packed the goodie bags for your classmates.

You are very good at complaining kutti. You go “Mommy see” when daddy/Adi bothers you and calls out for one of them when the other two bothers you.

You are very good with your sorry and thank you. But, Adi is annoyed with your sorry’s. She asks how does it help Amma? He hurts me and then just says sorry. You may have to learn that when you say sorry you should really mean it and agree not to repeat the same act again. And you should stop pulling her hair and jumping on her. Be nice to her kutti.

You love Caillou and Peppa pig. You learned to say daddy stage by stage from these shows. You started with “dei” followed by “dayeeee” improved to “dadddddeeeeee” and finally to “daddy”. Your appa was very proud with the respect you gave initially. (dei is a not so respectful tamil word)

I have to shamefully admit that I use TV shows as my secret weapon to feed you. I can push anything down your throat if I have you engaged with your favorite TV show. But, there are days you deny outright. Egg dosa with ketchup is my saving grace. You are better with eating spicy food.

You get homework *rolls eyes* from school but we hardly do it. Somehow I feel you are not ready for it yet so didn’t bother much. Adi was freaking out on initial weeks that you are defaulting. She couldn’t take it at all.

I tried to teach you ABC as a family activity. You were always passing your turn and made Appa and Adi say all ABCs. Then, Appa used the idea to make you say “No ABC” and it worked. You can sing the ABC song but can’t recognize the letters yet.

Your favorite rhyme is “daddy finger daddy finger where are you”. You go “daddy finger daddy finger where are you” and then rush as “ououou ouououo howuuuuu”

We have changed your bedtime routine recently and I am loving it. Mommy puts you to sleep these days after we read few books. I am very happy to see you looking forward to the reading sessions. That moment you hug me tight when lights are off. That makes it all worth it.. Amma is now running like a headless chicken to finish all her chores before 8:45pm.

We have just started potty training for you. Long way to go!!

You have come a long way with your speech. You can now say meaningful sentences and express yourself better. Appa was astonished the other day when you sat on the toy car outside a shop and said “daddy put money and pointed at that tiny hole that accepts quarters for the car to work”. We still wonder from where do you learn things.

Amma is working from home today. The plan is to pickup Adi early, go pickup cake and visit your school around 3:30pm for a small party. And then if all goes well, we will go to temple in the evening and have dinner outside.

Amma made payasam today morning and we did a small prayer. You loved the payasam. You can even eat a paper written as sweet. That is your love for sweets. So, I am not surprised.

Amma sometimes just like to sit back and admire you kutti. You melt Amma’s heart at random times and even help her to feel lighter during heavy mood swings. You hug or kiss me whenever I ask you for one unlike your Akka who shrugs her shoulders. I need them now and then to keep myself sane. So, please don’t stop that!!

Ammachi has taken care of you for around 2 years out of the 3 years. She holds unconditional love for her grand kids. So, treat her with respect and be thankful to her always.

Your little mind will learn a lot of things in the coming years. I wish you the best in everything and want you to grow up as a sensible man who will respect self and others. Be nice and have a good heart da. Learn to appreaciate life and relationships around you.

May god bless you with good health and happiness kutti. Always remember that you have a family that will stand by you no matter what!!